It’s very hard for 3rd party victims of crime to deal with their feelings about what has happened to their loved one, without feeling selfish or that in some way these feelings are inappropriate or wrong.
Feelings of guilt, shame and blame are normal emotions for 3rd party victims of crrime to feel but ultimately they are unhelpful and usually misplaced. In addition, the stress and sometimes additional trauma that comes with providing complex care means that the stress and anxiety seems to keep piling in. Add in dealing with multiple different groups of professionals, a loss of autonomy and worries about finances and it’s a recipe for extremely poor mental health.
Managing your mental well-being is vital if you are going to be able to sustain care for any length of time.