Prepare for a marathon

When you are busy, tired and trying to manage everything, you don’t even notice what’s going on with your own mental health. But the stress takes its toll and you need to consider that. You can’t care if you are on the brink of cracking…

Stefan, A partner

It’s very hard for 3rd party victims of crime to deal with their feelings about what has happened to their loved one, without feeling selfish or that in some way these feelings are inappropriate or wrong.

Feelings of guilt, shame and blame are normal emotions for 3rd party victims of crrime to feel but ultimately they are unhelpful and usually misplaced. In addition, the stress and sometimes additional trauma that comes with providing complex care means that the stress and anxiety seems to keep piling in. Add in dealing with multiple different groups of professionals, a loss of autonomy and worries about finances and it’s a recipe for extremely poor mental health.

Managing your mental well-being is vital if you are going to be able to sustain care for any length of time.

Something keeping you up at night?

You aren’t alone. You may find more information in our section: “The Tough Stuff” – things no-one talks about

Well-being

Your own well-being habits (food, sleep, exercise, routine) are as important as the person you care for. Apart from anything else, if you want someone to change their own habits and live a healthier life, it’s much easier if you have someone to share the difficulties or to model ‘good’ behaviour. There is lots of information about this on the dedicated well-being page.

Talking therapies

Everyone who is entitled to NHS treatment in the UK should be able to access talking therapies. These can range from counselling or CBT (cognative behaviour therapy) or other specialist treatments. Usually, there is an assessment where the therapist makes a decision about what is best for you before the therapy begins.

There is more information about the NHS treatment options and how to access them on this NHS webpage.

Support Groups

Support groups are often run via GP patient participation groups or through local charities and organisations. Each area will have a different range of local services and there should be information on your local council website.

Many of these offer general carer support groups although some do offer specialist groups for those supporting someone wtih mental health difficulties.

Some specialist organisations that offer individuals who have survived rape, violence or childhood sexual abuse, also offer support groups for carers. The Survivors Trust has a list of national helplines for more information.

Self-help

If getting out to meet someone to talk or gain support is an issue, then there are any number of self-help options that can be accessed via the internet, the library or within your home.

This NHS website has a list of suggestions for apps and the side panel has a huge range of links to explore related to different client groups.

It probably sounds obvious but talk to the other people in your household about how you are feeling. Letting things bottle up or bearing the brunt of caring whilst putting on a brave face isn’t going to help in the long-run.

This entire website is dedicated to providing information for 3rd party victims of crime. Explore it all – information can be enormously helpful to feel in control and to know that you are doing all you can to help your loved one.